The Art of Commentary-No Excuse For Rudeness

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Okay, two similar incidences occurred  today, and I have to speak up. I was chatting online with someone who is new to the marketing world. It turned out she had shut down her twitter account because people were “hurting her feelings.” We discussed it for awhile and went on. Then just a couple of hours ago, someone confided in me with a similar story that had occurred with regards to her blog.  Another person landed several comments on her post in a very rude and harsh manner. Of course, it hurt her feelings and she was confused why she was treated so badly.

The post pointed out that her content wasn’t very good, there wasn’t enough of it,  and it was the wrong kind of content. Wow! I beg to differ with that conclusion because I have visited her blog. Her blog is not all about network marketing, but who cares? She has found a very nice niche for herself .  One of the wonderfuls things about social marketing is we get to share who we are. Each of us are unique and special. All of us should play a part in allowing everyone out there to feel safe.

I think there should be a more gentle, kinder way to help someone who is just starting out or anyone out there for that matter. Who do these people think they are that just because they may have been around for 6 months or 6 years or however length of time they’ve been marketing, they think they are the experts and have a right to treat people badly? The marketers who are successful and at the top of their game are smart enough to realize how important their personal branding means to the successful outcome of their business and everyone else’s! Besides the successful people in this business don’t have to work hard to be polite or nice. In my experience, it seems that these people at the top naturally are social and love people and helping them. It isn’t their vocabulary to be rude or “mean.”

I’m not trying to toot my horn, but I reassured her that any person who leaves that kind of garbage on a post is obviously not surviving in the marketing world. This type of behavior shows that the person who wrote the naughty post has no clue of what they are doing and are revealing their inscurity.

People who behave like that online and offline don’t make it. They spin their wheels going nowhere because the truth is that “everybody knows” what is sincere or not. God gave us that really cool instinctive awareness that helps us differentiate between inappropriate intentions and wonderful characteristics like kindness, charity, sincerity, and honor.

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32 thoughts on “The Art of Commentary-No Excuse For Rudeness

  1. Ryan Martin says:

    Hey Raena,
    I think you are right. Anyone who actually has a brand to uphold would never ruin it by saying negative things. The people who make these comments are usually faceless people with no reputation what so ever.

    It is best to just ignore those people, because you will almost always get those random comments from time to time.

    1. Raena Lynn
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Ryan,
      You are absolutely right. Ignoring is the best the thing to do. None of us really have time for it. It is just wasted energy. Now lets get out there and market!

    2. Raena Lynn
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Ryan,

      Hum…you used the term “faceless” as Christine did. I mentioned that the term reminds me of a blank avitar. I’ve noticed that when I join a community and I need to find some friends for connecting, I usually skip the ones without profile pictures. Sometimes they don’t have a picture because they are new and are learning, but sometimes it’s people who have not grasped the concept of personal branding. The negative ones are in the same boat. Thanks for stopping by!

  2. Hi Raena,
    You are absolutely right. There will always be people who don’t have anything else to do than deny what others are doing. I think we should never be discouraged by this but the truth is that for someone who is just starting out, every opinion counts and some people are more sensitive than others.
    Personally, the thing that kept me going has been reading the books of the greatest motivational authors like Dale Carnegie, Napoleon Hill and so many others.
    You come to realize that other people’s critical views don’t have to affect you at all. Just keep going!
    George

    1. Raena Lynn
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi George,
      Great insight George! It seems that new marketers are more sensitive and opinions do matter to newbies, but I suppose as we grow in our business, we learn what is important and what is best left alone. Great books help a lot too! I love your suggestions. I also like Tony Robbins…who doesn’t? JUST KEEP GOING!

  3. Hi Raena ~ I agree with both George & Ryan, that the person(s) who left rude comment(s) are probably “faceless” persons with no real following, b/c as pointed, out anyone who has a business and/or brand to uphold would never even think of being rude like that. I think that for the majority of us who are legitimate, if we truly felt that way about the new person’s blog/blog post, we’d kindly let them know in private as a way to perhaps help them about something they did not know (because they are newbie’s) or to help them get better, and never be rude about it. In the meantime, as George stated, “Just keep going!” Christine

    1. Raena Lynn
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Christine,
      The term “faceless” reminds me of a blank avitar. When someone needs help, a professional would always “kindly let them know in private.” I remember years ago, I was a new teacher, fresh out of college and it was my first year teaching. I had a principal who made a rude statement to me in front of my colleagues. I was so embarrassed and I will never forget how it felt. He didn’t know how to tactfully let me know how to tell me how to do something differently (I was a newbie, and I don’t remember what it was about, but I know it something really minor). I think it works the same way online. There is no reason to be rude and it really isn’t worth wasting time and fussing about it. Thanks!

  4. Hi Raena,
    N Hill said that an opinion is the cheapest thing on earth.So we should accept the critics and use them constructively but when someone treat us like that just ignore him.Our energy and time are precious.We don’t want to spend it with this kind of people.
    Life always goes on,with or without these comments:)
    Thanks for sharing,
    All the best,
    Radu

  5. Yasser Khan says:

    Hi Raena!

    That was highly insensitive and rude of them to comment like that.

    This happened to me too when I was starting out, but I just ignored them and tuned out their crap,as I didn’t want to focus on energy-sapping pursuits.

    Also, Christine said it well about them being faceless people. It seems their activity is nothing but dishing out dirt or possibly seeking an outlet to throw out all that emotional garbage. It’s akin to trolling. They thrive on creating strong negative emotions, and if you don’t give them that, they’ll go elsewhere.

    Yasser

    1. Raena Lynn
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Yasser,

      Nicely said. I like the term “energy-sapping pursuits.” These are what we should always avoid! I think many people can relate to this topic because lets face it, we’ve all been through it some time in our lives. It is strange to think of someone actually wanting to create negativity! Wouldn’t it be great if we could make a conversion to the positive side?

  6. Raena Lynn
    Twitter:
    says:

    Hi Jamie,
    Yes I totally agree with you about the Goldon Rule:

    Wikipedia Definition: The Golden Rule or ethic of reciprocity is a maxim,[2] ethical code, or morality [3] that essentially states either of the following:

    1.One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself (positive form)[2]
    2.One should not treat others in ways that one would not like to be treated (negative/prohibitive form, also called the Silver Rule)

    Enough said!

  7. Raena Lynn,
    I totally agree with you that there is never an excuse for rudeness. Like our parents told us all, “if you can’t say anything good, don’t say anything.”
    Thanks for sharing this,
    Adam

    1. Raena Lynn
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Dr. Sheck,
      True! There’s never an excuse for rudeness. It’s clear that everyone seems to agree with what is right.

  8. Great post, Raena! I posted something similar earlier this week about the latest viral sensation on YouTube (Rebecca Black “Friday”). If you don’t like something, that’s your opinion and that’s your right, but people shouldn’t make personal attacks, or if they are going to offer suggestions to improve the blog, they should always do so as a private message rather than trying to embarrass someone in public. A good rule of thumb is to only say something online that you are willing to say to someone to his/her face.

    1. Raena Lynn
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Steve,
      I agree with your rule of thumb about saying something online that you are willing to say to someone to his/her face. I think sometimes people think that business online is somehow different than the tangible world. I don’t think so!

  9. Raena,

    Good read. One good way to ruin your reputation is to say negative things. Unfortunately, the world is full of people like this and it is best to just stay away from them whenever possible.

    1. Raena Lynn
      Twitter:
      says:

      Simple and straight to the point. Thanks Gary!

  10. Reana Lynn,

    We experienced quite a few “not so flattering” comments while in our Twitter War with Jimmy Kimmel (both personal and business related). We found it quite interesting to find out where some of these comments were coming from. It made us realize that the comments made to us were about what these people were experiencing in their own lives… and nothing at all to do with us (heck, they don’t even know us).

    They said what they felt they needed to, but it didn’t mean we had to make it part of us.

    Go your own path… learn new things along the way from true mentors… and make your business a success.

    Thanks,
    ~ Pat and Lorna
    http://TheCoolestCouple.com

    1. Raena Lynn
      Twitter:
      says:

      Dear Pat and Lorna (aka “The Coolest Couple),
      Thank you for your response. I’m starting to understand what you are talking about. I love what you said, “Go your own path…learn new things along the way from true mentors…and make your business a success. I consider you two true mentors! Thanks!

  11. I have had a few rude comments from people over my 16 year history in marketing. I don’t know why people feel the need to be rude. If I let them bother me I wouldn’t have a successful business today.

    1. Raena Lynn
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Melodie,

      Wow! You’ve been marketing for 16 years! That’s fantastic. You must really love your work. A tip from Pam Moore, “If You Don’t Love Your Job, Don’t Do It! You are an inspiration. Most people rotate every five or ten years. You are proof that marketing is a ligitimate way of life!

  12. Raena,
    I had many of rude comments when I first started too. I am glad you were there to help them understand who is behind such kind of nonsense.

    I agree with you. If I do not like someone’s blog or tweets, I just move on. There is no need for anybody to be rude. You can disagree with someone, but you don’t have to say a word about it. Just keep it to yourself. Like my mom always said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.”

    Thanks for sharing,
    Jaden

    1. Raena Lynn
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Jaden,

      Thank you for the compliment. I must share this awesome poem from my good friend Andrea Goodsaid, “”I urge you to: Trudge not through life leaving ugly gashes, Tiptoe not through life leaving half-formed impressions, But tread gently, lovingly and purposefully Leaving graceful heart-prints.” Isn’t that just perfect!

  13. Paul Reimers
    Twitter:
    says:

    Great Post Raena!

    Wow, it’s amazing that they were that rude to her. Blogging is an aspect of social media and it’s amazing that someone could comment and be so…well, antisocial!

    The goal of reciprocity comes into play heavily with Blogging and commenting on blogs. What you put out there will come next year and the end. So it’s important that good stuff all there for others and doing the same.

  14. Curt Bizelli says:

    Dear Raena,

    I have to strongly disagree with your first statements. We have to take into consideration everybody’s personal opinions. Everybody has a right and as long as its not truly rude or vulgar, constructive criticism is ALWAYS welcome on my blog. I don’t care if I disagree with it or not. This is not only how we grow and learn better ways of doing things but also the ultimate foundation of a blog community. Not everybody is going to feel “hunky dorey” about your blog posts.

    God’s Blessings As Always,
    Curt aka CBiz

    1. Raena Lynn
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Curt,
      I agree with you totally that we have to take into consideration everybody’s personal opinions. However, you noted “as long as it’s not truly rude or vulgar.” In this case the response was truly rude. I believe that constructive criticism is always welcome on my blog also. I believe in freedom of speech. However there is a style of criticism that is recognized as humane and moral. Some of my best coaches and teachers who had the most impact on my life were those who gave me LOTS of constructive criticism. That is the key. There is criticism and constructive, the latter being the preferred. I also believe that the depth of the relationship between the people is a factor. For example an “acquaintances’ criticism” will be accepted differently than a friend’s criticism. Usually, a lifetime friend can say whatever they want, even if it is rude or vulgar and there are no hard feelings. Ah the beauty of lifelong friendship! Thanks Curt. I love your boldness!

  15. Charles Seay says:

    Thanks Raena,

    I know I have received negative post/comments to some things I have written. Now mind you I looked at some of it as “Constructive” criticism and OK’d the comment. Some of it was just deleted and I kept it moving. I agree with Curt when he simply says we can’t try to be all things to all people. I have to take the good with the bad and continue to work on my content.

    Besides, the only person I have to truly impress is myself.

    Charles

  16. Stevie Smith says:

    Hi Raena,

    Irrespective of the context, rudeness is really an awful thing and there is absolutely no need for it. Unfortunately, is seems to be a rising trend nowadays. Whether you are driving in your car, or commenting on people’s blogs or social media. The problem with this type of rudeness is that it is also cowardice. Those rude people give themselves the right to be abusive, but not face to face.

    Keep the smile,

    Stevie

  17. Marc Korn says:

    Hey Raena,

    Thanks for sharing this Great post and very important message.

    It is always sad to see when people resort to this type of behavior. Many people are trained by people who don’t know any better or think that a controversial or negative response will get more eyes to their own site.

    Many don’t have the ability to put together a well thought out, constructive comment, so resort to what they do know,which is limited at best.

    The best thing to do is always realize that these people are the vast minority, so stay positive, be a continuous learner and focus on those that bring something positive and ignore the others…they’re NOT important.

    “Every knock is a boost” and people respond out of jealousy sometimes and I would try to take it as a compliment that I was able to do something that they could not do.

    This is a section from my own blog post about one of the key ways to leave comments:

    Do not be rude..

    Have a sense of humor. The Internet is a vast expanse of space, currently limitless. In fact, it’s a whole universe unto itself. If people leave comments on your post that seem to insult you or argue with you, don’t fight back without thinking.
    First of all, we are a democracy and people have every right to their own opinion.
    Second, firing back with the same kind of idiotic language will not be a good reflection on you. Third, you’re way better than that. If you must defend your stand, do so with class.

    Keep inspiring us,
    Marc

    1. Raena Lynn
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Marc,

      Thank you for coming by again! I love when you visit my blog because you always add so much value to my site because of the responses you leave! You are awesome Marc, thanks. I love your third point, “Third, you’re way better than that. If you must defend your stand, do so with class. Marc, you have a lot of class.

      Raena Lynn

  18. Karin says:

    I agree with you that leaving negative comments on blogs or anywhere else in cyberspace need to be carefully thought through. Disagreeing with a point of view is one thing, but criticizing a person for what he/she does with their blog is the wrong thing to do. I have had a few times where I wanted to let the owner of a blog know that he/she was doing things that would hurt them in the long run. I always found a way to reach that person privately, either through regular email, a facebook message or the ‘contact us’ page. My comments have always been received positively and in the manner it was meant. To help out.

    1. Raena Lynn
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Karen,
      Thanks for coming by! I really appreciate your comments. I think the way you handled rudeness is very professional and I must commend you for the way you handled it. Being private is the best way to handle these situations. It really isn’t that much different offline! If someone is rude, it is always best to deal with the situation in a private setting.

      Raena Lynn

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