Have you ever thought, “What if?“
When you put together the word “what” and “if” you get a very powerful combination.
I’m not a huge fan of football but I have a soft spot in my heart for the San Francisco 49ers. I’ve watched them play for the last 10 years and I’ve seen the ups and downs they’ve had through multiple coaches, defense coordinators, family issues etc. Last year most 49er fans hoped and thought it would be their year to “at least make the playoffs” but they didn’t. This year they brought in a new coach Jim Harbaugh and in my opinion, he brought in the discipline they needed and brought out their talent and strength as a team. This year during the NFL playoffs they made it all the way to the NFC Championship playing the opposing team, the New York Giants.
To make a long story short, it appeared that the Giants were playing better in the beginning of the game, however the score ended up 17 to 17 and moving into overtime. When there is a tie, the teams move into a 15 minute play called “sudden death.” The team that gets the first touchdown, wins. And in this case, move on to the Superbowl. The New England Patriots had already won their championship and will be the other team to play in the Superbowl on February 5.
During “sudden death,” a severe mistake was made by the 49er’s which turned the ball over to the Giants and ultimately the Giants kicked a field goal and won the game.
I couldn’t help but think, “What if that one mistake didn’t happen?” I cannot imagine the feelings the 49er players might have had after this game. This is a game that would have placed them in the Superbowl and wiped out the stigma of living with the fact that this is a team that won the Superbowl 5 times in a row in “the good old days.”
So my point? What if?
Have you ever wanted to go back in time to change something that could have been different? As an internet marketer, this game caused me to think about, “What if?” I thought about, “What if I had done things differently? What if I skipped a particular program and had put my money someplace else? What if I found a different mentor? What if I had quit last year?
In this post, I am not talking about the positive “what if’s.”
“What if” thoughts can be negative seeds which sow mediocrity. Get rid of your “what if thoughts” (both positive and negative) and just keep going. If the 49ers dwell on “what if the ball didn’t get turned over” it only leads to devastation and regret. Wouldn’t it be better for them to think “We are grateful to have had the opportunity to play in the NFC Championships! Who knows what each player thinks. I don’t. But I do know that “what if” thoughts are not worth the negative mental damage they can cause.
They 49ers were so close and oh so painful! Will they quit? NO! They will work harder and learn and keep playing their hearts out! They will play again next year and the next time there may be no “what ifs.”
January 24, 2012 at 3:49 am
Raena,
“What if” is such a self-defeating way to think, if you are looking back at the past and wishing it was different. It cannot be changed but the you think about it can be changed. Instead of saying “what if” about the past, express to yourself what you believe is the full truth of the past. For example, “I did my best and my opponent played a little bit better” “I did as well as I could knowing what I knew then.” But then, ask “what if” for your future. What if I win the superbowl next year. What if I eat a healthier diet this entire year. What if I create the program I’ve been thinking about. what if I make all the money I want to have. What if I create the loving relationship I have dreamed about.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted..The 3 Causes of All Relationship Problems
January 27, 2012 at 12:50 am
Hi Dr. Goodstone,
You have an amazing outlook on life. Your comment is greatly appreciated and gives my readers a different perspective of what if’s! You always look at the glass as half full and you are a teacher of thinking positive. Your post about breaking your ankle was proof of the way you have designed your life. You turned an injury into a lesson about positive thinking. Thanks!
Raena Lynn
January 24, 2012 at 11:34 pm
I am quite sure the majority of us can come up with all kinds of “What Ifs” but you are right dwelling of them spin us backwards and out of our goals. While a quick evaluation is useful, dwelling on mistakes and regrets never are.
Lynda Cromar recently posted..List Building In Network Marketing – I Learned The Hard Way To Build My Own MLM List
January 27, 2012 at 12:42 am
Hi Lynda,
If you keep dwelling on mistakes and regrets, eventually you create your life to be negative and hopeless. I’ve met many people who live that kind of life and it certainly isn’t the way I choose to live mine. I say move on and learn from your mistakes. They occur for a reason and if we look at them as lessons, they add value and character to our lives.
Raena Lynn
January 25, 2012 at 7:29 am
Hi Raena, I don’t like to dwell on what if’s because you can not change what has happened in the past but you can make a difference in the present. If you start using what if’s it is better to think about what you can do if you do something which can help you in the present. Like what if you start trying to eat healthier foods everyday, what if I make more time for my family and friends. Thanks for bringing this important issue to light.
shelley alexander recently posted..Meyer Lemon Flax Hummus
January 27, 2012 at 12:39 am
Hi Shelly,
I agree that “What ifs” can be used for positive thoughts too. Dr. Erica said it nicely in her comments. She said, “Instead of saying “what if” about the past, express to yourself what you believe is the full truth of the past.” What ifs can be used for inspiration!
Raena Lynn
Twitter: SrinivasYReddy
Says:
January 25, 2012 at 10:52 am
Hello Raena!
Excellent post! Even though you’re not a huge fan of football, you make your point really well using this game. “What if,” “if only” etc are great ways to live in the past. They sows seeds for regret and destroy the present moment — where opportunities lurk. Hindsight may 20-20, but dwelling on what has been does not really develop foresight. Thanks for this reminder!
Srinivas Reddy recently posted..Disciplining Teenagers
January 27, 2012 at 12:36 am
Hi Srinivas,
Welcome to TSA! Thanks for visiting my blog. You are so accurate about how dwelling on what has been does not really develop foresight. That is a very interesting way to see it!
Raena Lynn
January 31, 2012 at 3:25 am
You’re right, of course, Raena.
When you fail you must persevere.
Moreover, you should be grateful for you failure, knowing it puts you only closer to your success.
PS: Not sure if this works for the 49ers though…
David Merrill recently posted..“Fan Page” Flow | Get Facebook Fans Swimming In Your “Social Stream”
January 31, 2012 at 3:34 am
Hi David,
Good to see you. Love your comment about the 49ers!
Raena Lynn
March 13, 2012 at 5:12 am
Great post, Raena! As I Jets fan, I sympathize with your point about “what if?” as I look at a season where the offensive line was not what it used to be and Mark Sanchez was asked to do way more than he can do as an NFL quarterback, but you have to keep looking forward and learn from the past. There was a lot of talk about bringing Peyton Manning in, but Sanchez got his contract extended, which means that the Jets are going to push to make their team better and not fall for the glitz and glamor for rebuilding. (Then again, I think that we learned our lesson with the Brett Favre season.) Still, getting to the conference championship in your first year as a head coach after spending the last few years as a college coach is nothing to sneeze at, and your team should be congratulated for a job well done.
Steve Nicholas recently posted..Do You Want to Be a Millionaire?
Twitter: WillenaRose
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March 14, 2012 at 8:47 am
Ah yes, the “What Ifs”. I could come up with a long list of them, just by remembering what haunted me in the past. But “What If” can be a very positive thing today, if it’s used in the sense of thinking outside the box, and being creative in looking at my alternatives for improving my future.
Love Dr. Erica’s comment!
Willena Flewelling
Willena Flewelling recently posted..Imagination – The Workshop of My Mind
March 17, 2012 at 3:29 pm
Hi Willena,
I have to agree with you about Dr. Erica’s comment. We can take the “What Ifs” and change them to the positive. It sure makes a big difference in our thoughts!
Raena Lynn